I am sure I just heard you say, "What is EMDR?"I will try my best to answer your question.
My counselor through LDS Family Services suggested trying EMDR. It is used to treat posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Previous to last Thursday I would have flashbacks of Lloyd being tasered 15 to 20 times a day.
This doesn't include the other flashbacks of the group yelling at me, sitting in the police car, etc. etc. I was willing to try almost anything but very nervous.
Here is what I have learned: In normal life you process events during REM sleep. Sometimes if you experience a trauma your brain can have a hard time moving the event out of the Fight, Flee or Freeze part of the brain. When this happens for an extended amount of time (over a month) it can be considered PTSD. Once you become somewhat stable you can simulate REM by
doing EMDR in a controlled situation.
My experience: On Thursday I met with my counselor, Linda. I knew we were going to try EMDR. I had to start by getting the most vivid picture/sound of Lloyd being tasered in my mind. Then I would follow Linda's fingers as they passed back and forth in front of my eyes. There is a set number of times she does the pass but that wasn't my part. After she does the passes then
she would ask what thought or feeling I was experiencing. Amazingly there was always something pretty clear. I have to admit things got worse before they got better. At the end of the session I thought we had been doing EMDR 15 maybe 20 minutes.
Today: I don't even feel sad. I am down to a couple taser flashbacks a day. The flashbacks are very different, it is more of an acknowledgment that Lloyd was tasered If I want to get a picture I have to work pretty hard. It is like my brain wants to check one spot and then has to go searching.
Tomorrow: I can't predict the future. I don't know if the trial will bring things back up. I do know that we will be doing EMDR for each flashback scene and then the whole park scene. It may take more sessions to experience permanent relief.
I am thankful for the relief of the past two days.
My counselor through LDS Family Services suggested trying EMDR. It is used to treat posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Previous to last Thursday I would have flashbacks of Lloyd being tasered 15 to 20 times a day.
This doesn't include the other flashbacks of the group yelling at me, sitting in the police car, etc. etc. I was willing to try almost anything but very nervous.
Here is what I have learned: In normal life you process events during REM sleep. Sometimes if you experience a trauma your brain can have a hard time moving the event out of the Fight, Flee or Freeze part of the brain. When this happens for an extended amount of time (over a month) it can be considered PTSD. Once you become somewhat stable you can simulate REM by
doing EMDR in a controlled situation.
My experience: On Thursday I met with my counselor, Linda. I knew we were going to try EMDR. I had to start by getting the most vivid picture/sound of Lloyd being tasered in my mind. Then I would follow Linda's fingers as they passed back and forth in front of my eyes. There is a set number of times she does the pass but that wasn't my part. After she does the passes then
she would ask what thought or feeling I was experiencing. Amazingly there was always something pretty clear. I have to admit things got worse before they got better. At the end of the session I thought we had been doing EMDR 15 maybe 20 minutes.
It had really been 2 HOURS!! That my friends is a lot of brain processing!
When we stopped I just felt sad that Lloyd was tasered but I no longer had the sense of imminent danger and the need to run. I could still get a picture but it seemed far away.Today: I don't even feel sad. I am down to a couple taser flashbacks a day. The flashbacks are very different, it is more of an acknowledgment that Lloyd was tasered If I want to get a picture I have to work pretty hard. It is like my brain wants to check one spot and then has to go searching.
Tomorrow: I can't predict the future. I don't know if the trial will bring things back up. I do know that we will be doing EMDR for each flashback scene and then the whole park scene. It may take more sessions to experience permanent relief.
I am thankful for the relief of the past two days.
I actually cleaned my house today!
9 comments:
That is awesome. When things slow down of you. Hah, hah! You should read The Power of the Subconscious Mind, Dr. Joseph Murphy. He does an amazing job helping you tap into your inner stregthen to accomplish things. Until then it sounds like your counselor is doing a great job.
That is awesome Emily! I am so glad it worked for you. I hope it will continue to. I admire your strength to seek help for that. I can only imagine how awful it would have been to witness that. You are always in my thoughts and I hope this whole thing won't last much longer for you. It's so hard when things are still up in the air.....all the anxiety of the unknown. Keep it up! :)
That is amazing. First that we have discovered how to do this, and second how powerful our brains can be. This of course can have positive and negative effects. Anyway...I hope this continues to work for you especially as you face the coming weeks.
I'm so glad you've had some relief the last couple of days, Em. I hope it will continue to get better for you. We're still praying for you guys!
I hope that your inner strength continues to grow! Again, all my prayers for you and all your fam!
Amazing!!! I am so glad that this is helping. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family, let me know if there is anything I can do.
love ya emily... hope things continue to get better!! we're praying for you and your family... after Anna burned her hands I was really freaky about fire-- i am so grateful for good counselors and modern-day medication... you're doing GREAT!! even without tasers, being a mom of many is HARD!!
Emily,
I can't even imagine how hard this has been. I'm glad that you were able to find some comfort. My prayers will continue to be with you.
Hey Em,
I love it when you share things about PTSD. I learned just enough in my Psychology class to make me very interested in it. The only thing we didn't learn was how it was treated. This is so cool to learn. I wish you weren't the one having to teach me, though.
Love you,
Jen H.
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