Sentence

One year probation our probation will consist of monthly check-in w/ probation, a $40 monthly probation fee, Lloyd has to remain employed, (ie he can't quit and we move, he can't do anything that would cause him to lose his job) he has to fill out travel forms to leave Michigan, he will have to do anger management classes, we had to pay $544 in court fees today. The probation officer did tell us that if there are no probation violations it can possibly be reduced to half the time for good behavior. I think this sums it up; we only got to see the report for a couple minutes.

Ann Arbor news was there again so there should be an article in the paper tomorrow. Lloyd didn't comment but I did. I basically said that many people had good intentions at the park but the reactions resulted in poor choices. We accept responsibility and the consequences for our actions. A year of probation will just be another year of emotional Hell. (We will see if anything close to that is in the article.)

Two points that I find frustrating...

1. Deputy Bourdeau made no victim statement even though she was contacted by probation several times. To me this only further proves my theory that the only people being hurt is our family.
2. When the prosecutor was given the opportunity to comment on the sentence he basically said they were fine with the sentence because it was an unfortunate situation. I believe the prosecutor and Deputy Bourdeau really don't care about the people whose lives they are making a living hell because they just check off the victory box and wash their hands of it all.

P.S. Lloyd and I both agree maybe I should be the one in anger management after all this!! Who would of thought I don't think I even knew what true anger was before.

Official Sentencing

Official Sentencing will be tomorrow Wednesday June 24th at 1:30 p.m. Honorable Archie Brown will take the probation officers recommendation, the lawyers will get to argue why the recommendation is fair or unfair and Judge Brown will make his final decision. This is where all the letters written regarding Lloyd's character are suppose to be taken into consideration. Thank-you to all for the love, support and most of all prayers.

Probation Recommendation

1 year probation with associated costs and fees (about $544)

Sentencing is almost here...

Sentencing will be this Wednesday. We don't really know what will happen.
We have been told 99% sure no more jail time. (They held Lloyd 48 hours back in September.)
Most likely we will have a fine or probation or some combination.
If there is no probation Lloyd can leave Michigan whenever he wants.
If there is probation he has to do some paperwork to get permission to leave.
If there is a fine I don't care how we do it.....
we will find the money to pay it and have this part done.
I feel sick and tired (I'm not really physically sick I just feel that way), Lloyd feels anxious,
the kids are just waiting to fly to Utah on Thursday.
(How nice to have kids with a different perspective on things.)

Pride comes before the Fall

Earlier this week I was ticked...
I thought Allie had lost this...

Lots of ranting and raving. Blaming, and questioning responsibility of my 10 year old! I know very poor parenting but I was mad. I use my iPod a lot!! Tonight I set about to find it. I checked everywhere then out of the corner of my eye I saw a box. Oh yea, I threw a bunch of stuff in the box when I was doing the stash and dash to clean the house for pictures so we can list it. What did I find in the box? You guessed it, my iPod right where I threw it. What did I do next? A huge apology to my daughter. What did she do? A big hug and "that's alright mom." I really have a great daughter.

Love you Lots Allie Ann!!

Braggin' about Nora

Nora has been busy this last month....

exactly one month ago she started rolling and crawling.
Why she didn't want to roll before crawling I would love to ask...
I wasn't worried because Emma did the same thing...

Within a couple weeks she started pulling herself up on furniture...
Now this is how we often view Nora...
She crawls over to the intended target and crawls up their legs...
It doesn't matter to her if she climbs up the front or back of your legs...
I must say it is a little tricky when she picks the back and you need to move!!

That's not my plan!!

The first time I remember really feeling this way was after I had finished my first year of college. I would finish my associate degree then do a semester at BYU Hawaii, a semester at BYU Jerusalem then finish up at University of Utah. I was going to get married at 23 have my first baby at 25. Then I met Lloyd 12 years ago today. All I wanted was 1 date (I guess I filled that part of my plan.) My plan changed I knew it was right to marry Lloyd, yet I still mourned for the loss of my "perfect" plan.

Now 12 years later, I find myself sometimes screaming "THIS IS NOT MY PLAN!!" I wasn't as clear exactly what my plan was but I know this isn't it. I was going to stay home and raise my babies. Eventually I would go back to school for fun. I never thought I would be going back to school so I would be able to help support my family financially. I wonder, is Heavenly Father looking down on me with the same exasperated look I give to my kids. I imagine Him saying "I didn't ask if this was your plan. I just need you to do this for my plan." So, what is His plan?

Are we going to stay in Michigan? What about the kids, I am very concerned about their education. I want them to live in a neighborhood where I feel comfortable letting them play outside. Do we move in with Lloyd's parents? What about a job? School for me? I know the kids would thrive. Could we possibly move to Rexburg? I could go to school, kids would have great schools. Will Lloyd find work? How can I leave all those we have come to love? How can we possibly balance all the balls in the air? So many questions that usually lead to more questions. Right now no one has the answers, believe me I have tried to find them. I think I have heard, "I don't know how this will affect your family's life;" more times than I can count.

Here are the answers I do know. I know somehow things will work out. I know tomorrow will still come. I know I don't have the answers. I know this is not my plan. I know Heavenly Father is saying,

"I didn't ask if this was your plan. I just need you to do this for my plan."

p.s. Heavenly Father, when do I get to find out what role I play in Your plan?