Pride comes before the Fall

Earlier this week I was ticked...
I thought Allie had lost this...

Lots of ranting and raving. Blaming, and questioning responsibility of my 10 year old! I know very poor parenting but I was mad. I use my iPod a lot!! Tonight I set about to find it. I checked everywhere then out of the corner of my eye I saw a box. Oh yea, I threw a bunch of stuff in the box when I was doing the stash and dash to clean the house for pictures so we can list it. What did I find in the box? You guessed it, my iPod right where I threw it. What did I do next? A huge apology to my daughter. What did she do? A big hug and "that's alright mom." I really have a great daughter.

Love you Lots Allie Ann!!

Braggin' about Nora

Nora has been busy this last month....

exactly one month ago she started rolling and crawling.
Why she didn't want to roll before crawling I would love to ask...
I wasn't worried because Emma did the same thing...

Within a couple weeks she started pulling herself up on furniture...
Now this is how we often view Nora...
She crawls over to the intended target and crawls up their legs...
It doesn't matter to her if she climbs up the front or back of your legs...
I must say it is a little tricky when she picks the back and you need to move!!

That's not my plan!!

The first time I remember really feeling this way was after I had finished my first year of college. I would finish my associate degree then do a semester at BYU Hawaii, a semester at BYU Jerusalem then finish up at University of Utah. I was going to get married at 23 have my first baby at 25. Then I met Lloyd 12 years ago today. All I wanted was 1 date (I guess I filled that part of my plan.) My plan changed I knew it was right to marry Lloyd, yet I still mourned for the loss of my "perfect" plan.

Now 12 years later, I find myself sometimes screaming "THIS IS NOT MY PLAN!!" I wasn't as clear exactly what my plan was but I know this isn't it. I was going to stay home and raise my babies. Eventually I would go back to school for fun. I never thought I would be going back to school so I would be able to help support my family financially. I wonder, is Heavenly Father looking down on me with the same exasperated look I give to my kids. I imagine Him saying "I didn't ask if this was your plan. I just need you to do this for my plan." So, what is His plan?

Are we going to stay in Michigan? What about the kids, I am very concerned about their education. I want them to live in a neighborhood where I feel comfortable letting them play outside. Do we move in with Lloyd's parents? What about a job? School for me? I know the kids would thrive. Could we possibly move to Rexburg? I could go to school, kids would have great schools. Will Lloyd find work? How can I leave all those we have come to love? How can we possibly balance all the balls in the air? So many questions that usually lead to more questions. Right now no one has the answers, believe me I have tried to find them. I think I have heard, "I don't know how this will affect your family's life;" more times than I can count.

Here are the answers I do know. I know somehow things will work out. I know tomorrow will still come. I know I don't have the answers. I know this is not my plan. I know Heavenly Father is saying,

"I didn't ask if this was your plan. I just need you to do this for my plan."

p.s. Heavenly Father, when do I get to find out what role I play in Your plan?

Ahhh Holland!!

Some much needed rest and recovery!! Thanks a million to all the friends/ward members who made it possible.

I need a volunteer!

Jackson came home the other day determined that he needed an adult to "volunteer" to help him. He needed an airplane to fly one person. He just needed some tools so he could make a plan.

Jackson got his airplane minus the flying one person!!

Please Learn from This

In regards to the whole park situation have learned the following:

1. Lloyd lost his temper. It doesn't matter why in the court system, it just becomes a fact.
2. In the court system you are judged based according to the police officer interpretation of the scene. In our situation the police officer was coming to a scene where her information was that 2 children were abandoned. We were guilty until we could prove we were innocent. We were not able to prove our innocence at the park because Lloyd was so focused on getting our boys back. The police officer interpreted Lloyd's actions as assaulting the lunch lady and he had to be stopped.
3. In our case the police officer testified as to how she saw things on September 20th at the park.
4. We have to be able to accept the police officer perspective of September 20th because law enforcement trumps everyone at a scene plain and simple.

Please, Please, Please learn from what we have been through. I would hate to see anyone I love and care about go through this awful hell when they could have learned from us. As of now I do not plan on doing further legal posts until after sentencing on June 24.

Police Cruiser Video

The video starts after Lloyd gives me my phone and he yells "Give me my kids!" I did cut one part out where the lunch lady is giving her phone and address. The only other thing happening during that time is you hear Allie crying "That is my dad.." over and over. Keep in mind I have put just over 9 minutes on here and the jury only got to see 2 minutes and 6 seconds. (I'm pretty sure that is the right amount of time.) I will say that watching the video everything seems extremely slow compared to how it felt things happened on September 20th.