Nothing changed, Everything changed

This seems to be the story of my life.

At least the last now seven months.
I have really tried to keep one foot in front of the other.
At least to some extent.
But this one seems like a thousand pound weight dropped.
This sweet babe has been a calm in the storm.
When she was 2 months old she started getting rashes.
This was the same time that we had to start formula,
I wanted to nurse her but the cards were stacked against me.
I asked the pediatrician about the rash.
Dry skin, use cream and hydorcortozone for bad spots.
At six months we started cereal.
I noticed about an hour after she ate her cheeks were all red.
Then later she would have a rash on her face.
Wednesday I took her to our favorite asthma, allergy, immunology doctor.
After working with Reuben since he was 9 months old he know us well.
I figured he would give me a better cream.
I am not sure how I came to that conclusion.
Dr. Leo said we should do some initial allergy testing,
we didn't really expect any results because
as far as we know allergies aren't in the family.
We did the poke test.
Horrible!! Holding your baby flat for 5 minutes while she cries.
Then she could sit up but not have anything touch her back for 10 minutes.
Have you ever watched a six month old try to scratch their back?
SAD. SAD. SAD!!
Initial results, deep breath, another deep breath,
allergic to milk, eggs, wheat and peanuts.
Really???
Dr. Leo ordered blood work. He said sometimes babies will have
false positive test.
My response was pregnancy test are NEVER false positive!
None the less... off to have blood drawn.
I can do shots but I HATE blood draws on babies!
We will know more on January 30th.
Until then nothing has changed but EVERYTHING has changed!

I am from Michigan

I grew up in Utah
in fact in the same house
and bedroom for 18 years.

I moved to Idaho for 9 months
Short in time, to short for me
my plan was to return you see..

Another plan laid a head in Arizona
A 4 month stay to fall in love

Then a 9 month honeymoon
back in Utah

Off to college we did go
the calm in Montana in my heart did grow.
Just over 3 years seemed a long long stay
New babes, a graduation,
life and educational learning combined!

Graduation brought adventure
We left the west
the only problem where was I from??
Grew-up in Utah
College in Idaho
Love in Arizona
Peace in Montana
For 7 1/2 years my answer has been...
I'm from the west and want to go back again.
Whether resignation or understanding the Lord's will
I AM from Michigan
raising my babies here.

Moving on???

In 2001 we looked for a house for 6 months. This was what we could get into and it fit for two little girls. We were okay with it because we were only going to be here 2 years. 7 years and 3 more kids later... it feels a bit tight!!!

Now, Michigan's economy is horrible and people are losing a lot on their house. This house is foreclosed and $150,000 less than it sold for 2 years ago. Most houses are either short sales or foreclosures. We can't believe it is in our price range. Disclaimer: We have not put an offer on this house it is just one we are interested in.

Circling the Wagons

At one of my doctor appointments last year he made the comment I was circling the wagons. Last night I was pondering this thought. The only time I have any real knowledge of this event was when the pioneers were crossing the plains. From my knowledge they would circle the wagons to protect themselves from wild animals and any who would want to cause harm. They did this at night and in the morning they continued their laborious journey to the west.

In July and August I circled our small family and drew in each child. The only problem was I didn't start on the journey again. Lloyd put me in the wagon with our sweet baby and drove our team on. Our other enthusiastic children were anxious to continue on the adventure. I think many times the pioneer children felt excitement in their adventure too, while parents felt the burden of the journey. As our family continued the journey I stayed in the wagon. Watching kids play and grow from the flaps but not able to get out and walk. I let very few people into the wagon, I was grateful for the company and words of wisdom. Yet, I still sat in the wagon, moving along the trail just at time moves along in life.

September came, I had come out of the wagon a few times. Sweet children at play, we were moving as a family making slow but steady progress. Then we had a raid on our wagon. I drew everyone inside the wagon with me. Soon, I felt the children would be better off in another wagon because I hadn't protected them from or stopped the raid. We would bring the children home at night when we circled and Lloyd could be in the wagon too. The few people I let in my wagon before became even less. Friends who I loved and cared for, I was unable to open the flap to let them in. Knowing others were trying to move their family along the trail, I knew they couldn't stop to try to and get me out of the wagon, nor did I want them to fall behind because of me. So, I sat in the wagon wishing the journey was over. Lloyd continued driving the team and taking care of the children. The children happy in the journey.

Last night I remembered that Brigham Young had the pioneers sing and I think dance at night after the long days journey. I guess I forgot that part of the journey. I am not sure there won't be many days ahead where I still need to ride in the wagon with Lloyd pulling us along. But now I have realized the loss of 6 months where I might have found small glimpses of joy had I not shut out those I cared about and enjoyed being around them. I am sad for the loss or those I have driven away by not opening the flap of my wagon. I am grateful for the few who were able to find a way through a closed flap.

Here I am the first day of the New Year. Still sitting in the wagon but maybe I will open the flap today and look out. Maybe today I will see the smiles on the kids faces and let it fill me too. Maybe tonight we will play music and dance while the wagon is circled. I still feel weak from the months in the wagon but today I have hope. I hope that someday I will get out of the wagon and run along side of my boys. I hope I will be able to express appreciation for those who have been with our family in the journey. I have hope that not every day will be a day where I want to keep the wagons circled. I realize today if I keep the wagons circled we will never get where we need to go and time continues with or with out me.

Family Collage

Most of the pics were used in our Christmas card.
I was trying to make a collage for our house
to conserve on space. I am still working on the picture...
Adobe photoshop is great oh the possibilities!!

Brumbaugh House 6:10 p.m. Sunday

Sam Sheep Can't Sleep

Sam Sheep Can't Sleep
What does Sam Sheep do?
Get's up at midnight..
Hula Hoops on Wii Fit
Then blogs about it!!
Maybe Sam Sheep will be able to sleep now.