I have had many people tell me to move on and not give Deputy Bourdeau any more of my time. We are out of her hands and the prosecutors hands.
If you belive this STOP READING!!
Yet, we get to live with the mess daily.
So, to Deputy Bourdeau and the Prosecutor I say
TELL ME WHAT GOOD.....
tell me what good you thought you were doing by prosecuting this case
Did you get a hard criminal off the streets?
Did you save society from a threatening force that was going to cause them imminent harm?
Did you save our family from anything?
Did you use the law to better someone or thing in any way shape or form?
Did you feel better at the end of the night?
Did you make the "abandoned children" at the park feel safe and comforted?
Did you listen to what happened?
Do you even care?
Did you even know what the results for this family would be from your choice?
I can't speak for everyone involved because I don't know how they feel.
I can speak for me....
I am angry and bitter.
Everything that happened at the park was horrific.
To live with that memory would have been challenging.
Yet, apparently our family didn't suffer enough that day.
I needed help from others to break my belief that
trying to do the best you can in life
isn't enough!
Why should I ever trust anyone when I feel like someone whose job it is to restore trust was so worried about covering their own ass they didn't care who or what they destroyed in the process.
Why should I try and contribute to society when it feels like society will spit in your face every time they get a chance?
Why should I care, when it feels like so many others don't?
Why try?
Has a member of the legislature ever felt the consequences of the laws they write?
I have learned the importance of conjunctions: the difference between or & and is a year of Hell.
I thought those involved in the legal system cared about people. I now I feel like they are out for a win and to prosecute any case they can win by technicality because it looks good on a resume.
I have learned to hate...
I always felt that word was too strong to ever be used but now I truly hate.
I will never say Lloyd and I didn't make mistakes that day.
I will also never say that others didn't make mistakes either.... in what way have they accepted consequences for their actions?
I mourn the loss of thinking people want to help strangers out not fry them up at any given chance.
I regret that when I see someone in need I hesitate to offer because someone may interpret my actions different than I intend.
So much loss...
again I say
TELL ME WHAT GOOD!!
Congrats Mr. Prosecutor Brian Mackie!! Congrats Deputy Katrina Bourdeau!!
I hope this was what you wanted!!
If you belive this STOP READING!!
Yet, we get to live with the mess daily.
So, to Deputy Bourdeau and the Prosecutor I say
TELL ME WHAT GOOD.....
tell me what good you thought you were doing by prosecuting this case
Did you get a hard criminal off the streets?
Did you save society from a threatening force that was going to cause them imminent harm?
Did you save our family from anything?
Did you use the law to better someone or thing in any way shape or form?
Did you feel better at the end of the night?
Did you make the "abandoned children" at the park feel safe and comforted?
Did you listen to what happened?
Do you even care?
Did you even know what the results for this family would be from your choice?
I can't speak for everyone involved because I don't know how they feel.
I can speak for me....
I am angry and bitter.
Everything that happened at the park was horrific.
To live with that memory would have been challenging.
Yet, apparently our family didn't suffer enough that day.
I needed help from others to break my belief that
trying to do the best you can in life
isn't enough!
Why should I ever trust anyone when I feel like someone whose job it is to restore trust was so worried about covering their own ass they didn't care who or what they destroyed in the process.
Why should I try and contribute to society when it feels like society will spit in your face every time they get a chance?
Why should I care, when it feels like so many others don't?
Why try?
Has a member of the legislature ever felt the consequences of the laws they write?
I have learned the importance of conjunctions: the difference between or & and is a year of Hell.
I thought those involved in the legal system cared about people. I now I feel like they are out for a win and to prosecute any case they can win by technicality because it looks good on a resume.
I have learned to hate...
I always felt that word was too strong to ever be used but now I truly hate.
I will never say Lloyd and I didn't make mistakes that day.
I will also never say that others didn't make mistakes either.... in what way have they accepted consequences for their actions?
I mourn the loss of thinking people want to help strangers out not fry them up at any given chance.
I regret that when I see someone in need I hesitate to offer because someone may interpret my actions different than I intend.
So much loss...
again I say
TELL ME WHAT GOOD!!
Congrats Mr. Prosecutor Brian Mackie!! Congrats Deputy Katrina Bourdeau!!
I hope this was what you wanted!!
3 comments:
I probably should say something about the importance of forgiveness. But I won't.
I was going to refer to the "What good" question after hearing the Lucy Ann Lance interview, but didn't want to dredge it up while you were (hopefully) away from everything on vacation. Lloyd asked this very question at the end of the show, and they didn't respond to it. Very disappointing, down right enraging perhaps; it is understandable why you are hurting and bitter.
Don't let me enable you or anything...but I do think asking these questions and working through the (non)answers is what it's going to take to heal. Keep going.
even after reading this i still admire and respect you and if anyone can overcome this...it is you. and i really think that these feelings are part of a natural healing process...one day emily...one day you will find some peace and healing.
Our families haven't gone through the same legal mess, but our legal nightmare has been going on for many years, and we know it will not be over for at least four more years.
I have known criminals that have done bad bad things and been back on the street quicker than our trials were scheduled to begin.
When I left for MT to do good, a distant cousin was being sent to jail for stabbing his wife's lover in the back and killing him.
Only 20 months later when I came back from MT, guess who was coming home from jail?! You and I haven't done ANYTHING but love our husbands. Yes Lloyd made a choice one day, but I do not feel it was big enough to impose such grief on any of you. My husband made a e didn't have bad intentions, but another did. For these every day choices our families have suffered for too long. Why? You right! The legal system gets the bread and butter from those of us who won't roll over and plead guilty. We hope and fight that truth and justice will prevail.
Emily, one of the judges that sat on our case told us in court that cases are not about the truth or determining who or what is right.
Court is about coming to resolution with what is able to stay on the table after all the pieces are laid out, tossed around and many tossed away. It would take less time to put all the pieces of the puzzle together. Unfortunately, we are a product of this legal system now. I feel as you do every day in so many ways because of it. I fear, I hate, I cry, I don't scream any more so I shut out so many things, and I don't know how much more I can take as I quiver to think that any day I could find out we are going back to court.
Maybe we can S-U-R-V-I-V-E and overcome. Maybe our families will find peace one day. But for now, I appreciate what others take for granted.
Let me know if you want to talk about it.
Maybe we could both go back to school and become lawyers, and kick some true butt. Somedays I want to do that just so I can get really good, and do 100% pro bono work for people like me and you. But I stop when I realize what hateful energy the whole court system churns up in me, what fight, what determination, and I know I couldn't sleep at night.
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