Lessons Learned

I was talking with a friend the other day who is struggling with postpartum.

During the course of the conversation she said,

"Though I would never wish what happened to you on anyone it sure seems like you learned a lot."

 I don't think I have done a post on the lessons/changes I am able to recognize 

which came from the past two years.

So, this is my attempt....in no specific order

• I am back in school
• Forgiveness of others and myself
• Acceptance of situations beyond my control
• Perspective, I really belief the ultimate worse situation would be to have my family torn apart
• Total reliance on the Lord
• Change of course, I feel like I am on a completely different path a better path.
• I have tasted "bitter" and now the "sweet"
• Regain/gain trust in myself
• Appreciate the blessing of children
• Knowledge of how to help Allie and Jackson
• Found peace at living in Michigan
• Learned how to pray for enemies - a huge blessing of the atonement.
• Better marriage - I can't tell you how many times I heard... "I can't believe your marriage lasted through this." I didn't have a bad marriage before but it is better.
• Empathy to help others
• Testimony of Visiting Teaching
• Divine institution of presidencies (I was primary president at the time. I was blessed with an amazing presidency.)
• Self-care: mental and physical
• Role of the Holy Ghost in the Godhead
• Tolerance: this goes for many different things on many different levels

Most of these lessons have a story behind them. Some have a very long story behind them. There have been wounds, some I am not sure will heal, but time helps in understanding the blessings and miracles. I guess what I am trying to say is I wish I could have learned these things a different way but at the same time I am grateful to have learned them. I hope the lessons can stick because I really don't look forward to "refresher" courses.

Gingerbread Houses: Christmas 2010

The Heslop side of the family has a tradition of going to Grandma and Grandad's house to decorate gingerbread houses. Well, we decided to wait for the gingerbread houses to go on clearance and join in the fun!!

Christmas Morning 2010

A and E loved Christmas. They are growing out of the toy phase. E wanted Aussie shampoo and conditioner, what an easy wish to fill. A wanted an iPod touch, camera, and a laptop, sadly A didn't get her wish list filled.

J and R were thrilled with Playmobil pirates, and a train set. It is all about the swords and weapons for those two.

N got a kitchenette mom found last year on clearance. Mom had a hard time not spoiling this little one. It is easy to find toys little girls will love!

A Cinnamon Roll Tradition - December 2010

Dough Mixed with Care

spreading the butter.. soon cinnamon and sugar will top it off

a few rolls ready....

we usually end up with 3 pans to divide and take to friends...

YUM!!

The only downside is when our friends go out of town for Christmas we don't get

to give them hot cinnamon rolls for the Holidays.

Through a Child's Eyes: October 2010

The Last HUGE Hurdle

For those of you who continued on with life after 2008....I have still been dealing with the aftermath of postpartum and PTSD.When my life turned upside down the doctors basically took over for my brain. It was a blessing at the time. However, a lot of medication was involved. Xanex, Trazadone and ultimately 300 mg Effexor XR.

I remember the doctors warning me how addictive Xanex could be so I quite using it fairly soon. At the time I stopped using Xanex I realized it is nice to not FEEL sometimes. I thought I understood how someone could become addicted. I have wanted to go off the Effexor for a while but wanted to make sure I was in as stable of a place as possible. About 2 months ago I started tapering down the dose. Life became more headaches and dizzy spells and nausea. I took my last pill 5 days ago.

It has been awful!! I was talking with a recovering Heroine addict and she said the symptoms are very similar to detoxing!!! Think along the lines of morning sickness meet the body aches of the flu.  I called my doctor yesterday to see if there was anything I could do to help the "side effects" The suggestion was to go back on the Effexor. Isn't this what I am trying to stop? I feel like an addict. My brain literally hurts. Right now knowing this is the last direct hurdle put up two years ago is pushing me forward.

Halloween 2010

 Please pretend you have entered a time machine back to Halloween 2010.....enjoy the pics!!

Jackson has a love hate relationship with Halloween. He gets all excited for the big day then refuses to wear a costume. At least this year he had a Tiger face.

Reuben picked a Ninja Turtle from the clearance costumes the previous year. It took some convincing to remind him he WANTED to be a Ninja Turtle....that was until he got the make-up on.

Jackson - Tiger face,  Allie - Wizard,  Reuben- Ninja Turtle, Emma- Punk Rock 80's Girl, Nora- refusing to put on her Bear costume.

Go big or go home!! Lloyd needed a hair cut...I started doing a mohawk then he took it further and shaved the sides. Needless to say on Sunday morning he had a flat top.